Like a Heartbeat

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of…”

Blaise Pascal. A picture of his heart wasn’t available for some unknown reason.

…as Blaise Pascal once concluded. He also observed that “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” He seems to have been exceptionally perceptive of the human condition and I can appreciate the truth in such observations. There’s something about the peace and receptivity that you experience when sitting quietly for any extended amount of time, recollecting yourself, disassociating yourself from the noise of the world.

This is all the more true when sitting in the quiet, humble divine presence during Eucharistic Adoration. Those who have been in a intimate relationship probably know that wordlessly enjoying each others presence can be just as satisfying as any other communication. This experience is certainly the case with the presence of the Eucharist, if not more so. Words fail and even a mere glance will wholly satisfy.

At one time, I had made a regular habit of arriving to Church an hour and a half early in order to rest in His peace in adoration. The chapel had become for me like a monastery away from the monastery. On Saturday afternoons before Vigil Mass, the adoration chapel was rarely occupied and I would find myself alone, able to spend some quality time with “my Lord and my God.” Needless to say, it was always a fruitful experience, but, for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on one memorable meditation in particular.

On this specific occasion, I was occupied by His loving presence when, amongst the gentle silence of the chapel, I became keenly aware of my own heartbeat. I proceeded to plumb the depths of the heart’s mystery: it’s seemingly unconscious, consistent activity – the immediate, physical source of my life. In it we can recognize an intimate confirmation of God’s hand in our existence. Why does it beat so? What is the source of it’s persistent busyness for our benefit? Our dependence on it is at once awe-ful and humbling, yet gratifying.

With this in mind, it’s easy to see why this organ is attributed as the source of love. Who among us hasn’t experienced the heart’s flutter in the presence of someone whom we love deeply? It is a physical and symbolic affirmation of God’s loving occupation with our being here, being alive. Dare I call it sacramental? Here we find the epicenter of the paradoxical nature of man: recognizable as the point where body and soul most acutely converge; where the temporal and the infinite meet in our being.

It has been understood that God is best related to in love (rather than by intellect or imagination) and so it has happened that as I have progressed in my prayer life, I have more and more recognized the need to move from my head to my heart. This recognition was all the more confirmed as I meditated on my heartbeat that one peaceful afternoon.

When I had disclosed this “revelation” to my spiritual director at the time, he was able to further connect the constancy of the heartbeat to the unrelenting pursuit of you by God as related in that haunting poem by Francis Thompson “The Hound of Heaven.” He never stops pursuing your love… Just take a moment to sit quietly, listen to your heart, and comprehend this fact. Then bask in the wonder of His enlivening love.